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Monday, 1 August 2011

Wayne Parnell: Fast Bowler loses Grip on Reality

It is always sad to witness someone slip into mental illness, and I am sure that you will join me today in commiserating with the family of Wayne Parnell the South African cricketer and current Sussex fast bowler. It would appear that Parnell’s seeming mental collapse, that is, his conversion to Islam, has been precipitated by his moving in an environment where constant media and political propaganda portraying this vicious backward ideology as a ‘religion of peace’ gulled him into its unforgiving embrace. Now that he's in, he'll not find it easy to leave should he realise his error.

We can but extend our sympathies to the Parnell family, for they have at least for the time being lost a son, whom it would appear is contemplating assuming the moniker of Waleed which means ‘new born’ (one born every minute more like). Such a decision must smart painfully. What a disappointment and a sorrow it must be for any parent to see one of their children choose such a course. As one wag remarked in the comment stream to one of the articles on this story, his bowling prowess should stand him in good stead when it comes to attending stonings. It’d be a pretty frightening sight to witness him deploying “Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel” at such an event!

Let us hope that this represents but the folly of a confused youth, and that Parnell will quickly rethink this rash and painful (ouch! Must they cut there?) decision.

Wayne Parnell: currently lost to Mohammedanism


  1. My knowledge of cricket is rivalled only by my knowledge of Lithuanian folk music (circa 1840's) but I know enough about Islam to conclude that anyone who voluntarily converts is either enduring a deep personal crisis or is seeking attention. I wonder which this is. To any right thinking man the idea of joining this 'religion' should be as attractive as a 22 stone lesbian, smoking a cigar and wearing a high-visibility jacket. In a sewer. Covered in manure. With a beard.

  2. Cygnus, I must concur with your judgement of the degree of attractiveness of this fellow’s course of action, for the singular comparison which you have conjured forth is indeed a most vividly disagreeable one. My stomach churns a little in mentally picturing such a being.

    As for my knowledge of cricket, it probably rivals your own, being no better than my awareness of the content of the lyrical repertoire of an exiled Occitan troubadour at the late fourteenth-century Burgundian court of Philip the Bold.

  3. As amusing as this piece is, it is ultimately immature, ignorant and a great attempt of nonsense.

    To be able to make such bold statements and conclusions, you need to do the appropriate research of the subject at hand.

    Its quite unfortunate that you chose to voice you 2cents so loosely, that it comes across as this topic being above your intellectual capacity. Your writing style is cute but the material reeks of possible self-loath and hostility. Clearly no self-respecting person would lesser anothers value or beliefs.

    Soon you'll outgrow your awkward phase, and your hormones will balance so you wont harbour those teenage anger. When you do grow up...try a career in writing.

    As for Durotrigan and Cygnus, Wayne Parnell is a marked sportman and a gentleman. He has been improving with each match and seems to deserve his successes. The only matter that becomes our interest is his performance on the field, everything else is no ones bussiness.

  4. Thanks, Anonymous. If your response hadn't been so poorly written and patronising I may have felt suitably chided. But what do I know? Your reply was clearly above my intellectual capacity...

  5. WLIL said...
    It is shocking to read about a conversion case such as this. Anyway, it is shocking to read about this type of voluntary(?) conversion, be it from any other individuals or any other groups. Of course, it is no one's business, but if he is a public figure, people have the right to know, even if they have nothing against him. It is those immature, childish, ignorant islamics or nasty pro-islamics, that are full of incitement of hatred, insulting nonsense and bad vibes, that ought to grow up.


  6. This article is a load of crap you think That just because he turned Muslim the Parnell family are unhappy and as you say utmost a son?! Well how do you know your not sycik are you so leave your comment to yourself you idiotic twat!!!!!!!


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